The Good the Bad and the Dandelions

I must be a great neighbour. I’m not saying this out of egotism. I know better than that. I have enough friends and family that remember some of the things I’ve done in the past. I don’t remember some of the stories they attribute to me, so that alone ensures I stay humble.

No, the reason I think I’m a good neighbour is all about the dandelions. It seems that I have been the Dandelion Whisperer since I’ve moved into the area.

Here it is, the third day of the growing season and I already have a crop that could provide everyone in town all the dandelion salad they could eat and all the dandelion tea they could drink.

Every house has a nice green lawn and mine is yellow. You might see one or two yellow flowers on a couple of lawns, but honestly, when you walk my street, it goes green, green, green, green, YELLOW, green, green.

As much as I like being different, this is taking things too far. I don’t eat dandelions, so it isn’t much help to me. This happened last year as well. I didn’t get to them before they seeded and blew all over the area but it didn’t matter. When the second crop grew in, they were all back on my front lawn. Not a yellow flower found anywhere else on the street.

It may be a bit of karma. When I was in University, I worked the summers for a landscape company as their lawn sprayer. This meant that I applied fertilizer and weed spray to lawns all over the city, as well as feeding trees. There were a lot of lawns in Calgary that I sprayed weed killer on over the years.

Yes, trees need to be fed and yes, some do spit up once in a while. That’s another story.

So maybe Mother Nature is snapping me on the back of the head these days. I know that over the last few years, our lawn starts out nice and green for the first few days of Spring. Then overnight, we have a carpet of yellow. I have sprayed chemicals (only once – bad for the birds), ran a weed bar over them and my darling wife has actually got the kitchen knife out and taken them out one-by-one.

A week later, another carpet of yellow.

So I think it’s time to embrace my gifts. Instead of fighting tooth and nail and weedwacker, I will welcome dandelions with open arms, er, open lawns. I will ensure that no blade of grass takes up valuable space. I will make sure that they have enough water. I will travel the town, picking up unwanted and misunderstood dandelions and bring them back to the “Dandelion Ranch”!

I’d like to reassure my neighbours, though. I promise to control the dandelions and take in any that they want removed from their space. When they seed and blow about in the wind, I promise to pick up each and every seed and bring them back to my yard. I’d house train them, but according to my wife that’s going a touch too far.

I will train dandelions to grow in patterns and shapes that will complement the house! Think of the possibilities! The street could become a tourist attraction on par with the Corn Maze and the Gopher Museum! Fame and fortune, here I come…