Pranks

People sometimes wonder where I got my sense of humour from. Actually, people sometimes just wonder about me in general. Oh well.

I’m going to come right and say it’s all my parents’ fault. Mostly my dad’s to be honest.  He’s 77 years old this year, going on twelve. He’ll still deny stealing a fresh baked cookie, even when he has chocolate on his face and crumbs on his shirt. That’s consistency!

From my Mom, I received the gift of appreciating the humour in family situations. Many a day went by when I’d find Mom sitting in the kitchen or living room, giggling quietly to herself because the dog wore his food bowl as a hat or the cat tried to catch a butterfly through a screen window. Maybe it was just from watching us kids get ready for school. 

No Gun Hunting

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Back in my traveling days, I was lucky enough to spend some time in New Zealand. It was an era where you could actually get around the country by hitchhiking, without fear of ending up as fodder for a horror film.

My buddy Murray and I were heading south to Auckland to meet up with our friend Cliff. We were at a crossroads when a small car slowed down to pick us up. It was a Government of New Zealand vehicle and the driver looked us over, measuring and weighing the options, while Mur and I tried to look as innocent and trustworthy as possible.

Quit laughing - we could pull it off back then.

Recovery

I need a nap. It's not because I've had the requisite 3.7 pounds of turkey, with all the sides: mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, several vegetables of various colours and shapes and as much dessert as I could fit in afterwards.

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It's also not because I had to stay up until 3:00 am to put together a doll house or tricycle - the kids are all old enough to want smartphones and money now, which has saved me a lot of grief over the last few years…besides, my darling wife and I woke up well before the kids on Christmas Day. Go figure.

No, I think I need to have a snooze to try and rest up from all the aftershocks of this Christmas/New Year season. Being an independent contractor means having to take as many jobs as possible. If you don't, then one day you'll finish up a project and realize there will be too much month at the end of the money, so I was working until the very last minute.

Men and Women Explained

Today we talk about the differences between Man and Woman. It's the start of a new year and we should try to set some ground rules and expectations. Besides, my kids want me to lay off them for a while.

Men are fascinated by big explosions, shiny things and bodily functions that involve any kind of gas. We (men) are content to accept things the way they are and do not have to dig for a deeper truth in everything we see. 

Women seem to need to dig down, get every detail, significant or not. Men already have all the info they need to make a decision. There is a simplicity to our methods that works very well. We get enough data to make a decision and go with it. We don't have to obsess over a lot of detail.