I have at least five projects ready to start for this
summer. Well, maybe only three, but it depends on how you count them. I’d like
the count to be zero but even I know that’s not going to happen.
The front patio project involves pulling up the paving stones
from the side of the house and putting them down in the front of the house. I
can’t get the grass to grow there anyway, so I might as well put the pavers
there and save my feet from sharp, dead grass. The pavers will give the ants in
the front yard another space for their condos. How environmental is that? Maybe
it’s just mental…
Of course, the patio leads directly to project two. With the
pavers gone from the side of the house, I’ll have to sod the area and put down
a new sidewalk. It will be a normal size of sidewalk, not the twelve foot wide
one I have now. It’s on the west side of the house, which means that after noon,
the present paver patio there starts to capture every erg of energy from the
Sun. By three o’clock, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk and rotisserie a
chicken by holding it up to the aluminum siding. Saves a ton of money on
propane, but I still end up pan-frying my feet while I cook.
The third project involves my daughter’s bedroom. One
evening we (meaning my darling wife) decided to pull up the wall-to-wall carpet
in her room. Apparently there was a funny smell in the room, and my wife
thought it was from the carpet. I said it was a teenager’s room, what do you
expect? We took up the carpet anyway. So now I have to fix all the squeaks in
the floor and find a new carpet to install.
I kind of like the rustic-industrial look of the subfloor
plywood. It could be a new trend, very avant-garde. I mentioned this to my wife
and daughter, only to receive a long silence in reply. Back to looking for
carpet.
Staying with the theme, it looks like the basement family
room carpet will be the next to go. I can actually smell an interesting aroma
once in a while, and it’s not the kids. It’s probably the only time I really
wished it was teen-generated. Of course, the most daunting task will be finding
room to store all the junk, I mean, treasures that all family rooms accumulate.
It really doesn’t look like much, until you try to recruit
help to move it. Then suddenly, all your children have become gainfully
employed and will be out of the house for the next few days, or however long it
takes you to move the furniture. Once everything is back in place, the kids all
reappear. Funny how that works.
The final project will be to repaint the master bedroom. We
originally painted it when we first moved in, a bright, rubber ducky yellow.
Bright enough to read at night, without the aid of a lamp. Bright enough that
if we don’t draw the curtains all the way closed, the light of the full moon
will make it look like 7:00 am. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cheery colour. I’d
just like to sleep through the night without eyeshades. My turn to pick the
colour. I just have to make sure that my darling is away for a few days before
I pick up the paint. Then I can get the room done and move all the furniture
back and present it as a fait accompli.
Don’t laugh. It may work. If nothing else, I’ll get practice
with a paintbrush for when I repaint the week after.
So there you go. Five projects, some of which are
interconnected. I have until the September Long Weekend to
finish them all. Feel free to start a pool on how many (if any) I finish. Remember,
I get half the winnings. I’ll need them to pay for the painkillers…
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