Spring Landscaping Lessons

With this never-ending beginning of Spring, I find myself contemplating my yard, mentally planning all the little improvements I want to do. I find if I plan things out in my mind, I never have to tell anyone. That way, if nothing gets done (again) there’s no paper trail. Anyway, getting back to the yard. As I was planning which trees to trim and bushes to cut back, I remembered a day when landscaping was the furthest thing from my mind.

I had just finished the year at University and was helping my friend, Murray, plan and execute a party at his place to celebrate. I was at Mur’s about two in the afternoon, setting up his parent’s home in a tropical theme. This came complete with a white sand beach in the basement and palm trees (or reasonable facsimile after a few drinks) in the kitchen. It was a tremendous success. It may be the subject of another story one day. If Murray’s parents have forgiven him yet.

After helping clean up and hide, er, repair one of the walls, I drove home for a good night’s sleep. Since the Sun was coming up, it was looking like a good day’s sleep. I parked the car in the carport and opened the door to head into the house. As I started up the deck stairs, something didn’t look quite right. I stopped and looked into the backyard and realized that the two 60 foot poplar trees were lying down in the back, cut into about ten pieces, with all the branches still attached.

Having been a member of the Trail Crew the summer before, and being familiar with chainsaws and the like, I had the sinking realization that my Dad was going to get me up in about an hour to chop the trees up into a manageable heap. With a heavy sigh, I slipped into bed and tried to brace myself for the inevitable.

Sure enough, an hour or so later, the call came. As I dragged my (slightly – well, more than slightly) hung-over body down the stairs and outside, Dad handed me a tiny little chainsaw and told me to get started.

Do you know that even tiny, little chainsaws can cause your head to vibrate off your shoulders if you start them after an all-nighter? Boy, the things you learn when you’re out of school!

I quickly disabled the saw so no one else could start it up and hurt themselves or my head. We were stacking all the branches and small stuff in the back alley, dropping them in a pile just over the fence. After the first hour, or maybe minute, I was managing a respectable two branches per trip. The walk was about fifteen feet one-way and it only took me the better part of five minutes to get there. Not bad, for only two hours of sleep in 24. 

I’m not sure how long I was putting branches over the fence when I realized I was all by myself in the yard. I stopped where I was, looking around for everyone else. I glanced up to the deck, where I saw the rest of my family sitting in the shade, sipping lemonade and having sandwiches. The moment I saw them, they all started laughing and cheering. 

“Congratulations, Dave. It’s only taken you thirty minutes to notice it was lunchtime!”

“Well, thanks for telling me!” I shot back. “I called you twice, dear” my Mom said.

“What did I say?” I asked. 

“Nothing,” she said “We thought it would be safer if you woke up from sleep-walking yourself.”

I now find that I have two teenage boys in the house. Both enjoy staying up late as often as they can. Can you see the potential?! It may be worth it to trim and cut down every tree and bush I have, just to see. It’ll just take a little planning…