Funny Time

Time is a funny thing. Most think that it’s very regular, tick-tock-tick-tock, but really, it isn’t. Ask any student that has to finish a project by morning or a parent at 4:00 a.m. taking care of a sick child. Trust me, for the student, time speeds up and for the parent, it virtually stops. Been there, done that and lost both the t-shirts.

I can’t get over how long this so-called understanding of Time has been perpetuated. Every kid knows that summer days are approximately 22.5 hours long from sunrise to sunset during summer vacation. Every adult knows that their eight hour workday is also approximately 22.5 hours long, yet the clocks on the wall all want us to believe only eight hours have passed.

Yet the scientific gurus say that each second is exact, and is equal to “9,192,631,770 cycles of that radiation which corresponds to the transition between two electron spin energy levels of the ground state of the ¹³³Cs atom” (from the all-knowing Wikipedia Dictionary). I always thought a second was the time it took for the fast hand on Mickey’s face to move between two marks on the watch dial.

A Second is different from a ‘sec’. A ‘sec’ is the unit of measure that kids use when you ask them to pick up their socks off the living room floor.  This time period can be as short as five minutes to as long as twenty-three days, four hours and fifty-one minutes. Ask a parent.

I think that Time really varies according to where you live. If you lived in Europe, Time is very important – look at the train system there, famed for keeping to the schedule, no matter what. We won’t even start to talk about Switzerland. I don’t have time for that.

Here in North America, I think we’re a little more relaxed, although it does seem that we have a bit of ‘time envy’ of the Europeans. We keep telling the Europeans to relax, yet they work an average of 37.5 hours a week and our own corporate culture has people working 80 hour work weeks. Go figure.

Now in tropical countries or island communities, Time is really different. Everything is relaxed, they have four hour lunches (that include a nap!) and things can be put off until tomorrow. Boy, was I born in the wrong country.

I’ll give you an example. When I was traveling down in New Zealand, I was hitchhiking with my buddies to the north end of the North Island. We were picked up by a guy who was going exactly where we wanted to go, which was great because it was raining. I know that’s all part of the adventure, but I was willing to sacrifice.

Anyway, after about half an hour on the road, we asked the guy how long it would take to get to where we were going. “About 45 minutes exactly” he said. “So, is it about 45 minutes, or exactly 45 minutes?” I asked. “Yeah, that’s about right” he said. Knowing that we had the ride all the way to our destination prevented me from pressing the point.

Ninety minutes later we pulled up at our destination and the driver looked at his watch and said “Perfect! Right on time...” Yes, he was serious.

Another day, we decided to hike to a waterfall and as we started on the trail, the signage said it would take about 45 minutes. An easy hike that only took us two hours. I think those Kiwis have a national inside prank that they pull on all the tourists. Everything takes 45 minutes, from cooking an egg to getting from one end of the country to the other.

Hey, that would be perfect for those family car trips. Anytime one of the kids ask “Are we there yet?” just say “Only 45 minutes to go!” in a cheerful voice. It’ll drive’em nuts!