Smarter Parents

I have said before in other articles, that the older I get, the smarter my parents become. It's a thought worth repeating. Why? Because I am so used to repeating everything I say to my kids, I just can't stop. But that's another article…

I first heard this saying on, of all things, an eyeglass commercial. A 20-ish year old guy is standing in the middle of a street and spouts the line out with a slightly sheepish grin on his face. A sudden realization, I would say. It certainly struck a chord with me.

How many people have had that realization? At what age? I will be taking a survey after the article, so stay tuned. Just kidding.

One of the most insightful men on the planet, Bill Cosby, once said that all kids think their parents are nuts and don't know how to speak properly at all. Think about it -  when the kids do something they shouldn't, the parent comes into the room, looks at the disaster/mess/destruction and starts to say things. The problem is, they can't get the sentence they really want to say out, stopping frequently to try to find a word that will not shock the poor child's ears. Either that, or the parent just takes one look, seems to gurgle deep in the throat and walks away, eyes spinning in opposite directions. Like I said, parents look crazy to their kids.

I have found out recently that parents really have nothing to worry about on the subject of bad words. Kids have learned far more words than they should have at the playground or on the bus to school.  But I digress.

I first encountered this smarter parent epiphany when my youngest was about two years old. I was coming out of our kitchen when I saw the little beggar, sorry, rascal, sorry, tyke working away at something involving a wall socket and the dog. I immediately grabbed him, pulled him away from his work and started scolding him. I mean really scolding him - all two feet high of child standing in front of me, me barking explanations of what was so dangerous at him complete with waving index finger.

I suddenly stopped in mid-scold and jumped around, expecting to see my dad standing behind me, holding my neck and moving my mouth like a ventriloquist. I mean, Dad and Mom were an eight hour drive south of us, but the words coming out of my mouth were the exact words I had received from my dad when I was my boy's age. Okay, maybe I had heard them the last time I visited, but the effect was the same. I spun around again to face the short kid in front of me, but I couldn't find my place in the scolding pattern, so after a few false starts and stutters, I just said "Don't let me catch you doing that again!".

The look on his face said it all - this big guy in front of him was completely off his nut. A feeling I am sure hasn't changed to this day.

I staggered into the kitchen to tell my wife that we had the ghost of my father in the house, even though he wasn't dead yet. Her look echoed my son's, until I told her about what I said and how I said it. Then she looked at me with sympathy in her eyes and said, "I'm sure it's just a passing phenomenon dear, now please take out the garbage". Bless her, she knows I'm crazy and still loves me…

The only solace I took from that experience was that my kids will have to go through the same process with their kids. Oh my gosh, it just happened again! I just heard my Mom and Dad's voices saying "Just wait 'til you have kids…" Boy, they are way smarter than I thought.