It's all about maintaining the façade. Your kids have to believe that you are all knowing, all powerful and they won't get away with anything - ever. It is the mask you present to them that says "Nothing you do will surprise me".
Even when it does.
As a kid, I always thought that I was being sneaky and getting away with staying out late. Then I would get home and Mom would be there, supposedly just getting a drink of water or reading a good book.
I tried to take shortcuts when doing the yard chores for a while, until I realized that Dad would have no trouble watching me do the chore over and over again, while he enjoyed the sunshine on the deck with a cool drink in his hand.
For all the times my folks caught me or made me do things right, I thank them from the bottom of my heart. It has given me a huge toolbox of skills I am using on my kids today.
My work allows me to interact with various public safety agencies on a regular basis. I use this to my advantage. My kids know that I know Alberta like the back of my hand and I know that they know that. Even when I am blowing smoke, the kids will take my word that I can find them and their friends in under ten minutes wherever they are in western Canada.
I work with people that are ex-detectives, ex-military, paramedics, nurses, doctors, pilots, engineers. To the kids, that means I can find them, I can extract them, I can bring them that close to dying and then bring them back, over and over again. I can fly out and get them, then keep them in one place.
Even when I can't.
To their friends, I am an enigma. That is a good thing. For the first few years of cadets and school, hardly any of their friends knew what I looked like, much less how to take me. Yes, I had fun with this. I still do. It warms my heart to be able to walk into a room full of teenagers and have them stop talking and look my way with a tinge of fear in their eyes.
It is all about being fair. Treat them with respect, don't give in to demands and don't carry a grudge. Sneak up on them and surprise them. Be everywhere and don’t let them forget that. Make them believe you are always around.
Even when you aren't
I have to say that I do have an advantage of sorts. The Air Cadet program has instilled a military-like response to a command voice. Works pretty well most of the time. My kids will know when I am playing around and when they will have to move for real. Their fiends, I mean friends, still haven't figured that out, so I leave it to my kids to bring them up to speed. Those two years coaching hockey and the years singing in a choral group trained my voice to carry very well. The vocal training taught me the advantage of intensity over volume and vice versa. Just goes to show you that a well-rounded education is a very valuable commodity.
The ability to inspire and push your children to achieve, without looking like you are, is a skill to be mastered before they are out of their toddler years. Like the great martial art masters, who can knock down a mature tree with the flick of finger, you must make every thing look easy. Don't let the kids know that the master pre-cut the tree before dawn. They will spend days and months trying to knock down trees, just like him. I just wish the masters would concentrate on yard work and cleaning bedrooms, instead of forestry.
As they get older, the kids will realize that the more things change, the more they remain the same. The older they get, the smarter their parents become. If we can give them a solid foundation of fun and mischief, they too can carry on those traditions of the family.
Even when we can't.
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