I'm pretty comfortable with clocks. Having spent the better
part of my career surrounded by several timepieces at once has made me immune
to any fear of clock-like items.
I can even take alarm clocks. They have a distinct purpose
and generally perform that purpose admirably.
What I don't get is the snooze button.
When the first alarm clocks came out - the ones you had to
wind up every morning or evening - there was a small arm on the top of the
clock that would hold back the clapper for the bells. The alarm was either
armed or not. You either woke to the clamouring of two cow bells in your ear or
to the sound of the school bus leaving. Both methods provided the same shot of
adrenaline.
Then battery powered clock showed up and you never had to
wind up the clock again. Mostly a good thing, which saved you from the 'bus
leaving' shock. And they made the alarm not quite so, umm, alarming, which also
saved you years of life. It got even better when they merged radio with clocks.
Imagine! Never having to wake up to the clangour of bells again! Now you had
the choice to wake up to the sweet sounds of classical music, the current pop
song or heavy metal. Much easier on the heart.
They should have stopped right there. I think they made a
huge mistake putting in the snooze button. It brought us right back to the
adrenaline rush times of yore.
First, it was too easy to hit the darn thing. Most clocks I
see now have a huge snooze button on the top of the unit. There is no way in
the world that you can miss the thing as long as you hit the clock somewhere.
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| http://london-underground.blogspot.ca/2010/01 /no-trousers-on-underground-2010.html |
My first snooze button equipped clock had a ten minute
snooze default. This is the second problem. You could hit it as many times as
you want until the original alarm time was long passed. The next time you
opened your eyes, it would be two hours after you were supposed to get up. Then
you rush to get to work and find you have no pants on.
Thirdly, not content with keeping things simple, they
started changing the length of time you could snooze. First it was ten minutes.
Then nine. I even had a clock provide me with a seven minute snooze. None of
that helps. I could still push it a gazillion times and never really wake up.
And if I did wake up to the alarm, I expected to see "7:00", not
"7:07".
When you only have one eye partially open, "7:07"
does not look like anything resembling a real time, so I would promptly ignore
it.
And an hour later, again the adrenaline flowed.
There are signs of hope on the horizon. It may be too late
for me, but I still have sons who need a hand getting up on occasion.
There's a clock that has wheels that move the clock around
the room when the alarm goes off and won't shut off until you catch it. There's
another that shoots a little helicopter type thingy in a random direction. The
alarm won't shut off until you find the rotor and plug it back into the clock.
Either would work for my boys. Their rooms are so messy,
there's no way they'd find the device in under an hour.
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| bacontoday.com |
But I think the most efficient clock ever made for teenagers
is the bacon clock. You put a piece of frozen bacon on a little rack and shut
the door. Ten minutes before your wake up time, the clock starts cooking the
bacon and instead of waking up to the sound of an annoying buzzer, the sweet
smell of bacon is surrounding you. Pull open the little door on the side of the
clock and a freshly cooked piece of heaven is there to help you start the day.
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