Measly Microbes

Okay, it’s 4:30 in the morning and I have had just about enough. How is it that one measly microbe or virus batch can irritate us so much? Just enough, apparently.

I have had a cold for the last week; coughing, lost my voice for a while, slept as much as I could, etc. I loved the sleep bit, my wife and kids loved the loss of voice bit (although they won’t admit it to me directly) but I absolutely hate the coughing bit.

Just as I am drifting off to sleep, that little tickle will begin and a cough out of all proportion will shake me. Not so bad if I am sitting in the living room or at my desk. Awful if I am trying to be quiet at the aforementioned 4:30 am and my darling needs to sleep for work.

Being the stealthy guy that I am, trying to get out of the bedroom and to the family room to let my wife sleep sometimes poses a challenge. If I don’t trip over the dog – a fifty-fifty proposition – I inevitably step on the spot in the hallway that creaks like a pirate ship at a broken down dock. If I do happen to get out of bed without waking her and get to the hallway, THAT’S when I step on the dog.

I do not have a stoic dog. As a matter of fact, if you walk up behind her and tap her with one finger on the backside, people may think that you’re stabbing her with a hot poker. Nervous sort of animal, loving but nervous. She’s always been like that. Reminds me of some people I used to work with, but that’s another story. She is terrific at hunting squirrels and mice, though. Go figure.

I have another question, still about colds. How come all the references to bio-rhythms and circadian rhythms always say that between 3:00 and 5:30 is the lowest ‘ebb’ for your body, yet here it is – now 4:58 am – and I am wide awake and hardly coughing? I know for a fact that if I were to head back to bed, even if I would miss stepping on the dog and the creaky floorboards, as soon as I lay down I would be racked by a coughing fit and end up waking everyone on the top floor. It’s not fair.

The hunger pangs at this time in the morning always seem to be fiercer as well. There is no way I can wait to make a sandwich. Too much time getting the bread out, finding condiments, jams or peanut butter. I need something right NOW and I know I can’t turn on a light or fire up the microwave for the pizza pop. Then everyone will want one and I’ll be stuck making breakfast and cleaning up after as well.

I have to admit that one of the best things about this time in the morning is that I can write uninterrupted, except for the dog snoring behind me. Phenomenal how loud such a small body can be. Anyway, there is no distraction – nothing on the TV that I want to watch or can afford (that Shopping Channel is dangerous at this time in the morning), nobody asking for a ride anywhere, no store open that I can go to, to get supplies for the unending list of chores I have around the house. I can actually sit and think about what I want to say. Not that it may show on the final draft, but I will let you and the editor be the judge of that.

I guess I’ll wait for everyone to get up now. That way, as we are all having breakfast, I can fall blissfully asleep in my bacon and eggs and finally get some rest.  Stay healthy.