Seeing Things Differently

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Have you ever seen anything that was so different, that you couldn't quite comprehend what you were seeing? I'm talking about things like seeing the Aurora Borealis for the first time, or green thunderclouds, or a bug that looks like a leaf. It takes a few seconds to process sometimes. Maybe a few minutes, depending on what it is or who you are…

There was the time when I was at a friend's place and we were walking past her brother's room. It was the 1980's and it was a younger brother, so the décor was very much the young teenager look. Blacklight posters, clothes on the floor, bed unmade - wait, I think I'm describing my kid's room right now!

Thunderstorms and Bicycles

I had decided that in order to save money and get into shape, I would ride my bike to work during the spring and summer. The thing was, I was living at the bottom of a river valley and the airport where I worked was up on the flats, ten kilometers away with an elevation gain of 240 meters. That's six miles and 800 feet, for you Imperial folks.

It worked out reasonably well, except for the first week of riding. That was (and still is) a long hill. Really long. And I always was heading into the prevailing wind. The worst part was after I had a shower and cleaned up at the airport, I still had to climb three flights of stairs to get to the office. That final staircase took about twenty minutes sometimes.

Mixed Signals

Things are pretty clear cut when you're a kid. As a babe, our eyes are always wide open, trying to make sense of the world. As we get bigger, we have a chance to test out different things, mostly by putting them in our mouths or hanging onto them for dear life.

We were pretty smart then. We would taste dirt and for most of us, never have to taste it again, knowing it was not a good snack. Pointy things like a spruce tree branch looked cool, but after the first (or maybe second) grab, it would be clear that pointy looking things were, well, pointy and not fun to hold.

Everyday Rituals

Rituals. That word sounds a bit scary. It reminds me of horror films where the undead crazy shaman starts converting the good guys into zombies or periwinkles or something too scary to name.

But really, we all have our own rituals we do every day. Pick any usual thing you do during the day and I bet you'll find that you try to do it the same way every time. And heaven help you if you get interrupted in the middle - everything just starts to go bad.

Chaos Cooking

Right off the top, I want to say that I love my darling wife unreservedly and that we work exceptionally well together. Most of the time.

We have put up wallpaper, painted rooms, fixed cars and built furniture. We have raised three kids who know how to tie their shoes and string a coherent sentence together.  Most of the time.

We mesh together like a Swiss timepiece, or like a perfect musical performance, or like a flaming, knife-throwing, blindfolded, acrobatic circus act. Until we get into the kitchen. Then the flaming knives end up in the seats…

Varmints

A friend of ours mentioned the other day that they have a skunk. She wasn't talking about her teenagers, either.

It seems like a very pregnant looking skunk had taken up residence underneath their patio recently. Our friend's cat seems to have taken exception to the new tenant and stalks around the front door hole of the skunk's new den. It does not bode well for the future, if said skunk really is pregnant and not just well-fed…

Rats, There's Rattles

Rattles. We've all had them at one point or another. Baby rattles are comforting when we're babies and not so much as we get older. We rattle around the house when we are kids, forever distracting our parents by saying "There's nothing to do!"

When they give us chores to do, it just isn't the same thing…

I have a particular rattle that is the focus of my attention most days. My house is pretty old by Canadian standards - 1980 or so - but practically new by European standards. Be that as it may, at the start of the cold weather, as the furnace starts up, there's a rattle in the duct work. Only in one section of duct work. The one in my bedroom.

Who needs modern transportation...

I was going to talk about my sons this week, mostly because I' haven't bugged them for a while. Sometimes though, the act of writing takes you down another path that you didn't see before.

Nope, this week it'll be all about cars. Don't worry - I'll still get a few digs in at Son Number One, mostly because he's been driving the last two times we've had big trouble.

Faceplants

I saw a post on social media today that really resonated with me. It's a sign that says "Pay attention while you walk - your Facebook status can wait". It was erected because too many people are paying more attention to their phones and status updates and not where they are walking. There have been videos posted on the Net showing people looking intently at their phones and walking straight into a fountain or into closed doors.

Some may think this is a new-ish phenomenon. I beg to differ.

Climbing Follies

I've lived and worked for many years in and around the Rocky Mountains and I know a lot of people who are climbers. My darling wife used to climb, both scrambling and some technical. My buddy, Murray, was also an avid climber in his day, often going out on solo climbs on days off from University.

I could watch these people climb all day. Same as I can watch people run on the pathways, with red faces, looking like they want to be anywhere else but running at that moment.

The Beauty of a Hippie Van

My youngest and I were stopped at a four-way stop when a lime green VW camper van stopped across the intersection. It was in pretty good shape, well-kept and shiny, with the silver hubcaps and white tire rims contrasting nicely.

My youngest said, "Hey, there's a hippie van. Cool! That looks great, I'd love to have one of those…" The driver didn't dispel the myth, having a very full beard and multi-coloured toque on. I didn't know that my son actually knew what a hippie was.

Three Cars and still walking...

You know, I find myself walking a lot more than I use to these days. I mention this because we have three cars at home and only three drivers, so you’d think I’d be able to drive around more than I walk.

Now before you get any ideas, I am not a car collector and having three cars isn’t as extravagant as you might think. None of our cars are of this century, for one. The closest we have is a 1999 Toyota. The other two are from 1993 and 1991, respectively. We managed with two cars for a long time, until the twins got their licences.

A Sod Story

Sod. I love sod. I’d forgotten how much I love sod. I’m not talking about the stuff you have to cut out of your yard when you put in a new sidewalk or a new driveway. That sod is usually uneven, in small, oddly shaped octagonal pieces that never seem to go down in the same pattern they came up from. It also has brown patches in the weirdest places, making your lawn look like a bizarre chessboard or Twister game.

Ripping Impaired

I have a confession to make. I am ripping-impaired. It’s something I’ve tried to deny for many years, but now it’s time to face up to it.

I think I’ve always had trouble ripping things cleanly. Heck, cleanly was never even close. I would be happy with neatly, but even that is usually beyond me. Doesn’t matter if there are perforations or not. Short of scissors, anything I try to make into two pieces will end up in strange and unusual sizes.

Summer Vacations

Now that it's June, I see summer vacations with a parent's eye. This of course, is far different than a kid's viewpoint. Vacations for kids are seemingly endless days of summer, each day lasting approximately 3.2 years. Those days allow for bike rides, ball games, hours on the gaming consoles and double feature videos just about every night. Throw in the one or two camping trips and the whole summer vacation is complete (as long as there is an internet wi-fi site nearby).

Now it's all making sense. I remember seeing my folks looking a bit wild-eyed around the middle of June - I mean, more than usual. When I did think about it, I passed it off as one of those weird things parents do on occasion. Then I went back to my Chocolate Coated Sugar Bomb and Marshmallow Cereal for breakfast. I was happy.

Now I know.

The Good the Bad and the Dandelions

I must be a great neighbour. I’m not saying this out of egotism. I know better than that. I have enough friends and family that remember some of the things I’ve done in the past. I don’t remember some of the stories they attribute to me, so that alone ensures I stay humble.

No, the reason I think I’m a good neighbour is all about the dandelions. It seems that I have been the Dandelion Whisperer since I’ve moved into the area.

Here it is, the third day of the growing season and I already have a crop that could provide everyone in town all the dandelion salad they could eat and all the dandelion tea they could drink.

To Do or Not To Do...Will Have To Do

I have at least five projects ready to start for this summer. Well, maybe only three, but it depends on how you count them. I’d like the count to be zero but even I know that’s not going to happen.

The front patio project involves pulling up the paving stones from the side of the house and putting them down in the front of the house. I can’t get the grass to grow there anyway, so I might as well put the pavers there and save my feet from sharp, dead grass. The pavers will give the ants in the front yard another space for their condos. How environmental is that? Maybe it’s just mental…

Nothing much...

Seeing as I don't have anything to say at the moment, I think I'll write a column about nothing. Remember Seinfeld? His whole show was about nothing and see where it got him. One can only hope…

There is actually a lot to say about nothing. There is always a whole bunch of nothing that happens every day. Ask your kid when they come home from school "What did you learn today?"

Small Bathrooms

You know your bathroom is small when you go to tuck in your shirt and you end up tucking a towel into your shorts as well.

I’m really not complaining. Okay, maybe I am. My house was built in 1979 when bathrooms were big enough for a toilet, tub and sink and if you were lucky, a spot to hang a magazine holder.

Losing things...

Who has lost something important, like their wallet, keys or mind? Come on, I know you’re out there. Did you ever find them again? Here’s a story of hope for you…

Critical Thinking

I have two kids in University this year. Sorry, young adults. The twins are spreading their wings and expanding their minds in the hallowed halls of Higher Learning. It’s all about them learning to think and follow a problem through to the logical conclusion. Learning to use the resources around them to the best advantage.

It’s wonderful to see them branching out and focusing on their future. Although sometimes their future seems to be attending university parties, field trips off campus and the plethora of social clubs. We get more information on all the extracurricular activities than we do about their actual classes.

Demise of the Written Word

English is such a flexible language. This is a good thing but it’s also a bad thing. The good thing is English has the ability to take a word from another language, mash it up a bit and use it in new and unexpected ways. That’s one of the reasons it’s used throughout the world in aviation and scientific circles. Any native speaker can make up a new word at the drop of a hat.

For instance, as I watch one of my sons watching TV, the word ‘slouch’ comes to mind. He’s a teenager, so slouching comes naturally. He just has that teen ‘slouchy’ look about him. Call it a slouch-like quality.

"Smart" phones...

Can smartphones make you dumb? I’ve been thinking about that for the last few days. (Believe it or not, I do actually think once in a while. Then I give my head a shake and the feeling goes away).

This idea has been percolating for some years, ever since the advent of Personal Data Assistants, or PDA devices. This is not to be confused with the Hollywood type of PDA, which stands for Public Display of Affection. You can’t get arrested for having the first type of PDA, but you can for the second. Or at least become fodder for the paparazzi…

Cartoon Education

I am appalled. Not Apollo, appalled. One of the mainstays of our educational system has been trifled with and I am not happy. The teaching of Classical Music on Saturday morning cartoons has been thrown to the wayside!

I know! It’s a terrible thing! Where will our children get their love of music from? Where will they gain the understanding of musical nuance, timing and emotion? It certainly won’t be from some robot-driven, animated adaptation of a bestselling ‘graphic novel’!

What is a graphic novel anyway?

Laundry Day

Well, it must be laundry day. I can’t find any socks in the drawer – any of mine, anyway.

I actually learned quite a few years ago how to do my own laundry, when I was a bachelor. Really. I scrupulously read the instructions on the side of the detergent box, sorted my clothes accordingly and washed four shirts in one load, a pair of pants in another and the unmentionables in the third. I was on a tight clothing budget…

Computer Savvy

I’d like to think of myself as pretty technologically savvy for the most part. I’d also like to think I’m good at a lot of other things but then I try to balance the chequebook…

I’ve had the opportunity in past careers to be exposed to a lot of different computer systems and programs, so I’m pretty comfortable mucking about with my home unit. I learned a lot about how programs and hardware work together and in some cases, how you can break them. I think I’ve seen enough computer glitches to understand most and be able to fix said glitches. And that’s when it happened.

Spring Landscaping Lessons

With this never-ending beginning of Spring, I find myself contemplating my yard, mentally planning all the little improvements I want to do. I find if I plan things out in my mind, I never have to tell anyone. That way, if nothing gets done (again) there’s no paper trail. Anyway, getting back to the yard. As I was planning which trees to trim and bushes to cut back, I remembered a day when landscaping was the furthest thing from my mind.

I had just finished the year at University and was helping my friend, Murray, plan and execute a party at his place to celebrate. I was at Mur’s about two in the afternoon, setting up his parent’s home in a tropical theme. This came complete with a white sand beach in the basement and palm trees (or reasonable facsimile after a few drinks) in the kitchen. It was a tremendous success. It may be the subject of another story one day. If Murray’s parents have forgiven him yet.

Building Lessons

I think I’ve learned a lot throughout the years about building and handyman stuff. Mostly because I have old things that break often. But I try to learn from my mistakes, (like not reading the directions first) and by the mistakes made by others. Sometimes I learn even when I don’t want to…

I seem to remember a lot of home improvement was started in our house due to what looked like random occurrence.

Taste Buds

Something has changed and I’m a bit worried. It’s taken me a little while to figure it out, but I think I’ve put my fingers on it.

Things taste different.

I’m not sure when this actually happened, or honestly, if I should be concerned. So I decided that I’ll do a very unscientific historical comparative analysis to see if I should ignore this and carry on or call up the Center for Disease Control…

Working from Home

Working from home is a fantastic thing for the most part. There is a twelve second commute, it can be the ultimate ‘Casual Friday’ all week long and there seems to be a never ending supply of food in the fridge, at least until the kids come home.

Believe it or not, there is also a down side to working at home. Everyone knows where you are and how to get a hold of you. There is a perception that since you work from home, you’re not very busy. I have no idea where they get that idea. Most folks haven’t seen me work at an office (and some would say they have never seen me work – ever) and generally, they wouldn’t call me there unless it was pretty urgent or business related unless they knew I was on lunch or a break.

Plumbing Season

It’s plumbing season in the house these days. Not that I really need a plumbing season per se, it’s just that I finally got down to the plumbing jobs on my “To Do” list.

Usually I try to start plumbing jobs when it’s a bit warmer – say, July. There are a few good reasons for this. My tools from the garage aren’t so cold that they stick to my skin. I don’t have to get parka and boots on to get the tools from the garage. The family’s hair doesn’t freeze on the walk home from the local swimming pool, where they’ve had to go for their showers.

I learned a new song last night. Didn’t mean to, didn’t really want to, but this morning, I woke up and there it was. Stuck in my head and it wouldn’t go away. The worst part was I could only remember one line and part of the chorus and that stuff was running through my head on a continuous loop.

This has happened every day for the last few weeks. A different song every morning. It would be great if I were a DJ for a living, not so great since I’m a writer. I have to be able to hear the voices in my head, not have them drowned out by music.

Resolutions

So when I finished putting up the Christmas lights for this season, I had an epiphany of sorts.

I tried a different method this year, one I don’t think I’ve ever tried before. I put up the lights in the dark. Yep, started at 5:30 pm. The sun had been down for about an hour. I was smart enough to make sure the temperature was right around zero Celsius and not as cold as two years ago when I had the boys help me and it was about -20 C (but sunny). That was just a learning opportunity for them. I also learned that they had a bigger vocabulary than I thought, so it was a win-win all around.

Cats

I've been lucky to have a lot of pets in my life – predominantly dogs, but we did have a cat once for a few years as I was growing up. My family seemed to get the goofballs of the animal world. I’m not saying that it was because my family was a bunch of goofballs either, because that would get me pummelled at our next get together. Those of you that know me and my family, hold your tongues.

The cat was an all-black Burmese with a crooked tail, about five pounds and more like a dog than any other cat I have ever met. We called her Bree and she would wait for us to get home from school at the back door and “Me-yah” us as we came in. Not ‘meow’ but ‘me-yah’. Don’t ask. Couldn’t tell you. I don’t speak cat.

Higher Learning

I was speaking with my niece a few days ago about her experiences during her first semester of University. Talking about all the lame courses you have to take before you can get to the good ones in second year, the goofy people that surround you at residence and the even goofier professors you have to put up with over the next four years.

That conversation got me to thinking. I know that may surprise many who know me, but I actually do think once in a while.

New Year Socks

New Year, new day. new socks. It’s been a good year so far. There’s nothing like putting on a pair of brand new socks first thing in the morning. The smooth feel along the bottom of your foot, the way your heel slides right into the heel cup and none of that pesky sock fluff piling up between your toes right away.

This may all sound pretty funny coming from a guy who goes barefoot in the middle of the winter. I put this down to my early hockey years. I spent so many weekends and evenings at the rink as a kid, putting skates on at -20 degrees (Fahrenheit or Celsius, take your pick) that I learned quickly how to keep my feet warm almost anywhere.

Tourist Tales

I have been a tourist. There, I’ve said it. I admit to doing and saying things in other countries that I would never do here at home. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about things like saying “How much does that mountain weigh?” or stepping off a curb in England looking the wrong way for traffic. I know I’m not the only one, either. I’m sure we’ve (meaning you, too) have all done silly things when we’ve traveled.

Take my buddy, Murray. Please. (Sorry, that was too easy...)

Bathroom Blues

We recently rearranged the house, swapping bedrooms between siblings. The boys are now both downstairs (now named the “man cave”, more due to the aromas than the residents) and my daughter has taken over the second upstairs bedroom.

With this so-called minor move, along with all the grunting and groaning whilst moving the furniture, my daughter also moved her bathroom and grooming tools to the upstairs bathroom. This also produced some epic grunting and groaning, mostly from me.

Falling in New Zealand

As I sit here thinking of islands and island life, another memory has just surfaced from my time in New Zealand. Really, it honestly surfaced. Here’s what happened.

Murray, Cliff and I were on the north island, inland a bit from a town called Waitangi. The folks in the hostel said there was a great hike that led to a nice waterfall and lagoon that we could swim in. Still trusting the Kiwi sense of time and distance, we asked them for directions. They said once we got to the stone church, it was about forty-five minutes through the forest to the falls. And the church was supposedly only ten minutes away.

Old-style Neighbourhood

I grew up in an unusual neighbourhood. Everyone knew everyone else and yet, they still enjoyed getting together with each other. Out of about twenty homes on the street, I could go into at least nine of them and raid the fridge for milk and cookies anytime I wanted. They wouldn’t even call the police! Imagine having nine complete households to hang out in! It was great.

Having all those good neighbours also meant that there was nine households that needed garbage taken out or the poop scoop done, eighteen adults that could call me over from the park to help them with chores, nine sets of parents keeping an eye on me. If I misbehaved at the park, by the time I made my way home (six houses away), my Mom would be waiting for me at the front door, already up-to-date with my misdemeanour. I keep telling the Government to use moms for intelligence gathering – they always know everything!

Warehouse Stores

I had to get batteries the other day. With all the game console controllers needing AA batteries and every flashlight in the immediate vicinity dead as a doornail, it was time to resupply. You all know what that means.

A trip to the warehouse store.

Just typing that phrase has sent shivers down my spine. On one hand, it’s the excitement of seeing all the new items they have artfully arranged throughout the 75,000 square feet of space. On the other hand, it’s the knowledge that once you enter the warehouse store, you will never, ever, leave the building with just one item. Even if you hide your wallet in your socks, it’s like a stealth siphon, emptying your bank account when you get within 600 meters of the building.

Similarities mean Trouble

A while ago I wrote about how opposites attract. It’s still my opinion that Mother Nature does this on purpose to keep the world in balance. Otherwise we humans would probably die out in very short order. Like by next Tuesday.

Here’s an example of how two people that are very similar get along. They’ll remain nameless to protect their identities as well as protecting me from their wrath.

Funny Time

Time is a funny thing. Most think that it’s very regular, tick-tock-tick-tock, but really, it isn’t. Ask any student that has to finish a project by morning or a parent at 4:00 a.m. taking care of a sick child. Trust me, for the student, time speeds up and for the parent, it virtually stops. Been there, done that and lost both the t-shirts.

I can’t get over how long this so-called understanding of Time has been perpetuated. Every kid knows that summer days are approximately 22.5 hours long from sunrise to sunset during summer vacation. Every adult knows that their eight hour workday is also approximately 22.5 hours long, yet the clocks on the wall all want us to believe only eight hours have passed.

Neighbourhoods...

I grew up in an unusual neighbourhood. Everyone knew everyone else and yet, they still enjoyed getting together with each other. Out of about twenty homes on the street, I could go into at least nine of them and raid the fridge for milk and cookies anytime I wanted. They wouldn’t even call the police! Imagine having nine complete households to hang out in! It was great.

Sailing in Paihia

I just received an email from a friend who has moved down to New Zealand for a year with her family. Every email I’ve gotten has had the requisite photos attached and a description of where they’ve been on this weekend and where they’ll be going next week.

I may never speak to them again when they get back. Not jealous at all. Nope.

The email does remind me of when my buddies, Murray, Cliff and I, all went to New Zealand and Australia for six months in between years at University. The fact that the University encouraged me to take a year off to reassess my academic goals had nothing to do with going on the trip.

Cats and Dogs

One of my friends I grew up with had a Springer Spaniel dog named Liz and a cat named Cat. Liz was a pretty excitable dog, really friendly but easily bored and always wanting to play. I think they named her after a relative. They named the cat ‘Cat’ because their dad said why should they name an animal when it wouldn’t come when it was called anyway.

Cat put up with the dog as cats will, ignoring her completely or tormenting her by kicking all the dog food out of the bowl. Liz probably just thought that dinner was a smorgasbord every night – more fun hunting kibble when it was spread all over the house.

Family Pranks

People sometimes wonder where I got my sense of humour from. Actually, people sometimes just wonder about me in general. Oh well.

I’m going to come right and say it’s all my parents’ fault. Mostly my dad’s to be honest.  He’s 77 years old this year, going on twelve. He’ll still deny stealing a fresh baked cookie, even when he has chocolate on his face and crumbs on his shirt. That’s consistency!

Sense of Humour

I can’t imagine living life without a sense of humour. I actually don’t think anyone can really accomplish that – I mean, look around you! Just looking at your relatives or coworkers will tell you that God has a sense of humour and he passed it on to us!

I had this epiphany one night walking back to my apartment after a late class at University.

Opposites Attract

We were driving the other day, out on the highway and started talking about the small compass that my son bought for the car and stuck on the dashboard. This got me to thinking about how opposites attract.

Believe it or not, that’s how the creative process starts, at least for me. Try to follow along...

Writers

Being a writer is a weird thing. This is my opinion. Maybe it’s yours as well, but I think I’ll stick with my own point of view for the moment. It’s probably safer for everyone. Sing along if you want.

Now that I have the chance to actually think and create and write on a regular basis, I find myself staring off into space a lot more than I used to. Some of you may not notice a difference, but believe me, next time you see me with the thousand yard stare, you can be sure that I am working away diligently...

Self-serve counters

Technology is a great thing, when it’s been thought out properly. I love techie stuff, all of it. Cool phones, shiny lights, buttons everywhere, obviously built to attract the male of the species. Kind of like crows and magpies, come to think of it. Hmmm, I don’t like where this is going...

Anyway, I really want to talk about the new “self-serve” check-out counters every store seems to have installed.

When they first arrived, I thought they were a pretty good idea – cheaper for manpower and faster for the folks that only buy a few items. Seeing how I buy groceries for three teenagers, it didn’t seem likely that I would ever get to use one of these counters at a grocery store for the foreseeable future.

Losing your Mind

Have you ever lost your mind? I have. Take my advice – once you lose your mind, don’t bother looking for it. There are better things to do than look for something that’s only going to get you into trouble.

It’s like forgetting your lady’s birthday, your anniversary or Valentine’s Day. You know these dates come every year, so put them in the smart phone, send them to your own email address or better yet, staple a note to your forehead at the beginning of the year. That way, your girl can rip the reminder off your head and hand it to you a couple of days beforehand. Believe me, it’s cheaper than a data plan for your phone. And a lot less painful than trying to apologize for missing an important date...

Alarms!

I have a love/hate relationship with alarm clocks. Actually, to be perfectly clear, it’s more of a “sorta like”/hate relationship.

When I was a kid and not yet going to school, waking up was an absolute delight; eyes slowly opening, all comfy and warm under the covers, and the prospect of a really sugary breakfast cereal or bacon and eggs for breakfast. I still have dreams like that.

Apologies - Summer days

I just realized that during the summer, it's remarkably easy to forget what day it is. Even what week it is. I just realized it's been almost a month since my last post. 
Between spending days in the basement office on a couple of big projects and sitting in the hammock and watching the vegetable garden grow, I've let the blog languish.


Which, come to think of it, is exactly what summer should allow everyone to do...

Church Memories

Some of my earliest memories of church are from when we lived in Mississauga, Ontario. We were able to walk to this HUGE church – although when I think about it, everything was huge when I was four years old. I always remember trying to have the same stride as my dad as we walked. I was always looking down at his shiny dress shoes and I tried so hard to match him step for step.

Old and Young Travelers

At one of my yearly physical exams, my doctor and I were discussing everything and anything under the sun when he says out of nowhere “You know, once you hit 45 years old, everything starts to go downhill”. Where that came from, I don’t know – we were talking about hiking trails in National Parks. I might have mentioned that my knees were hurting a bit and it was harder to see the fine print on things like stop signs and the like. Still, saying something like that during a physical exam can be disconcerting. 

Seven Miles Downhill

My buddy Murray, called me up one day, to see if I wanted to go cross country skiing. He had found a trail that would take most of a day to ski but had a great thing going for it – after a short climb of a few hundred meters, it was a long, shallow downhill run. Seven miles downhill, he swore.

I really should have known better.

Older Brothers

So I’m driving my Number One son somewhere out of town and ask him “What’s with you and your younger brother today?”

“Well. I think he’s repulsive and I hate him” he said calmly.

Not one to have knee-jerk reactions, I promptly pulled over and said, “Okay, we’re going home”.

Then I thought it might be better to continue on and try to get to the bottom of this, to delve into the mind of a teenager. After all, I was a kid once, and many of my peers believe I still have that mentality.

Showers

I made it. I finally made it. The plan this morning was to go for a walk first thing with my darling wife and our goofball of a dog. We could be up and out for a brisk thirty minute walk and be back in time to see the kids appear sleepily from rooms, look at the clock and then do the mad morning dash to get ready for school. That never gets old. Then it would be a quick shower and right downstairs to write a column or two.

Percussive Maintenance

Everyone knows that I have older, more mature vehicles. I’d like to say that I prefer older vehicles because they’re easier to fix. The fact that there are more of them on the road certainly doesn’t hurt. More spare parts, for one. You don’t have to worry where you park it, either. A great thing about older cars and vans is that for many minor repairs, there is a maintenance procedure that everyone, I mean everyone, can use. I’ve heard many names for this procedure while it’s being performed (most of them not fit to print) and the one I prefer is ‘percussive maintenance’.

Flying Fish in the Rockies

Flying fish in the Rocky Mountains. Not something you see everyday.

My buddy, Murray, and I had made plans to hike into the Kananaskis backcountry and camp by a small alpine lake. The idea was to relax for three days, away from university life, take in nature and fish a little.

The reason we picked this lake was because Mur had never fished before and we needed any and all the help we could get. The lake was used as a breeding pond for trout and it hadn't been open for fishing for a couple of years. I was hoping the fish were really hungry.

Tourist Questions

I just have to pass on some of the tourist questions that I and others have had to field over the years. I had the pleasure of working and living in the Kananaskis region, both in Peter Lougheed Provincial Park and in the Canmore/Banff area. Believe me when I say that I love tourists unequivocally. They force me to answer questions diplomatically and imaginatively. Excellent skills to develop.

Here we go...

Indispensability

We’d all like to be indispensable at one time or another. Sometimes you plan to be that way and other times it’s accidental. This is about the latter.

I started work at Nakiska Ski Hill in 1987, in preparation for the 1988 Olympics. In case you think I’m dating myself, remember I started working when I was eight years old. Or was it six?

Just had to put this in...

"We've always been here and we'll always be here. We are a specific arrangement of particles and this instant is infinite. Did we luck out, or didn't we? The odds against this sentence having ever being typed, much less the odds against you reading it were inconceivable. Smile, because the fact that you're able to is almost impossible to comprehend."

Jeffrey Rowland

Hamburgers and Eagles

A few years ago, my wife and I learned how to sail together. We also have wall-papered a kitchen and painted a living room together and we’re still married. Amazing, isn’t it?

After we received our sailing certification, we promptly chartered a sailboat for a week in the summer and invited a couple of friends to come with us. Now, stocking up a sailboat that has an ice box instead of a fridge can be tricky. Since this was our first time bare boating, we made a few errors.

Men and mornings

I’ll admit to everyone that I am not a morning person, not anymore. I was once, ask anyone. I could get up at any hour after midnight and be ready to go forth and do what needed to be done. I may not have been happy about it, but it could be done.

When my darling wife first met me, she was astonished by this talent. Once she called my name, barely above a whisper from the bedroom door and I was instantly awake and conversing with her. In English, no less, with all the words in the right order.

Low Flying Station Wagons

My sleep deprivation started just before the twins were born - literally two days before. We were living in Dawson City, Yukon, and my wife and I were eight months pregnant. All fathers know, if their wife is pregnant, then both of them are pregnant. So for all you new dads-to-be, get used to it.

Hitchhiking Saga

One winter day, I had to go from Canmore to Calgary in my trusty 1970 Toyota named Tat. The weather was the usual for that time of year in the Rockies – rain, snow and slush mixed and only a few metres of visibility. Nothing unusual.

On the way out of town, I saw a poor soul hitchhiking towards Calgary. The car obviously thought we should pick him up, as it spat, coughed, stalled and rolled to a stop a little ahead of the guy. Knowing what happened, I got out of the car just as the hitchhiker ran up, looking very thankful. I was happy to see him as well, because I needed someone to work the throttle as I cleaned out all the snow and slush out my air cleaner and carburetor.

Full Contact Baking

Today was not a particularly great day for me in the kitchen. We were out for the morning and as we got home around lunch, I realized I needed to bake. Bake something, anything, just to move and create. Time for cookies, Nanaimo bars and jello!

Just so you know, I am considered the baker of the family. I make all types of cookies, Nanaimo bars, quick squares that are like s’mores and cheesecakes of all sorts. For those that know me, no comments or you’ll never see another cookie from this house. But enough of the digressing, it’s time for digesting!

Weird Family...sayings

Okay everyone, I’m going to say this right up front. My wife is a fantastic person – smart, beautiful and close to being a saint. That last part is because she actually married me and has put up with me for this long. She still says that alcohol had nothing to do with it…

I love her dearly and what I am about to tell you should in no way, at all, whatsoever  be considered a criticism. Never in a million years. Been married long enough to know better. That being said, I’ll let you know now, my darling wife has some very weird sayings in her family.

I’m talking about sayings along the lines of “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” (or in my case, “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it”). Another is “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. Both sayings are well understood, even by folks who have never heard of them before. Easy to pick up, easy to remember.

Ahhh, cars...

A while ago, I talked about having new drivers in the house. It brought to mind all the memories I have of the vehicles I’ve owned over the years.  Everyone has that special one or two and they are a source of pride, amusement, gossip, envy, pain and heartbreak. For me, mine have been all of these things, sometimes at the same time.

The first car that I really have fond feelings for was a 1970 Toyota station wagon. Yeah, I didn’t know they made station wagons either.

Cool ideas - worthy of a story

Time travel experiment demonstrates how to avoid the grandfather paradox (Update)


(PhysOrg.com) -- Among the many intriguing concepts in Einstein’s relativity theories is the idea of closed timelike curves (CTCs), which are paths in spacetime that return to their starting points. As such, CTCs offer the possibility of traveling back in time. But, as many science fiction films have addressed, time travel is full of potential paradoxes. Perhaps the most notable of these is the grandfather paradox, in which a time traveler goes back in time and kills her grandfather, preventing her own birth.


I'm thinking this could be such a good thing for some of us. Think of the possibilities for getting out of trouble. Forget the anniversary? Zip back a few days, put a reminder into the smartphone to pick up flowers and voila! Saved! How about that term paper that you forgot in University? The one that would have saved your final mark? Head on back to a month before the due date and leave a copy on your old desk for submission. You might as well leave a note to yourself reminding you not to drink the whole bottle of rum the next night, to avoid those awkward moments at the Police Station...


Then again, you might not be as interesting as you are now without those past experiences. And let me tell you, you ARE an interesting sort...

February Blues

It’s wonderful to see more sunlight these days. Even though February is the shortest calendar month of the year, it seems to take the longest to go by. I don’t know why that is, but I’ll take a stab at trying to figure it out.

I’ve heard a lot of people saying February is tough because there’s no real holiday to look forward to. Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s have gone by and there’s nothing until Easter, which this year starts late April. That’s why the Alberta Government made up our very own February break, calling it Family Day. I applaud this day, simply because I’m a big fan of days off.

Be that as it may, when you factor in the arrival of the Christmas credit card bills, lack of sunlight, and the beginning of tax season, it sure looks like February is out to get us all. Maybe that’s why they only made it 28 days long...

I think it’s also because the storms in February always seem to have more of a bite to them. The rosy glow we had in November and December has given way to the redness of frostbite. Having to put on everything you own to keep warm outside has lost its thrill. It seems to take longer to defrost your windshield in the morning, especially after the freezing rain from the night before.

The only thing that seems to run counter to the slow pace of this month is when I have a deadline to meet. That’s usually when I would like another few days added on to every month of the year, come to think of it.

Ah, well. February is only 28 days long and now we’re just at the halfway point. It must be why the ancestors made Valentine’s Day a February celebration. The chance of a quick kiss and the presence of large amounts of chocolate can make most people happy. Lots and lots of chocolate. Maybe a few extra kisses as well.

You know, February isn’t so bad after all.

So much for keeping up...

Okay, who made the time go by so quickly already? We got the tree down and back into the garage just after New Year's, vacuumed the carpet and today I look at the calendar and apparently, it's now January 16th.
I thought there was a rule that time only sped up on your weekends and/or holidays, or the two weeks prior to school starting. That's the way I remember it, anyway.


I'm looking at my desk and see that work has been done, so I know time has passed somewhat productively. I think.

New Year and all that goes with it...

A gentle and relaxed start to 2011 so far. I hope it continues to be zen-like for the next few weeks. Nothing like having three projects requested (i.e. dumped in your lap at the last minute) just before Christmas to ramp up the excitement!


I can't see the Zen state happening though. As I sit here and try to make this post somewhat legible, the calendar on my wall keep sneaking into my peripheral vision, mocking me. School starting for two out of three, appointments in a few days, deadlines looming and seminars to create - the usual things I try to ignore until the reminder on my phone goes off. It's invigorating to have the adrenaline rush through your body when you realize you have three days of work to do in one day, don't you think?


Possibilities are still endless and I guess that's what keeps me going. The chance to learn more and experience new things will forever be my downfall and my inspiration. So for those of you that think I'm crazy, you may be right.


Fun, isn't it?

Ends and Beginnings

It has been a year, as most years go. I find myself in a peculiar place, one of my own making when it comes down to it. I have been writing for one year as a business now. Like any start up, it's been a bit of a struggle and had it's share of frustration.
But I like it. There's not enough money (there never is) and it's hard to get the client's vision right the first time, but I'm getting better at asking the right questions, so my clients are happier and so am I, not having to rewrite so much.
It's forcing me to write every day or at least read and revise every day which can only make my own writing stronger. I am recognizing patterns and formats well enough to be able to analyze a document and be able to have a good estimate on how long it will take me to revise or edit it.
I like that. This learning stuff is always an adventure. 


As I listen to Chopin's Waltz in D flat and the rest of my music collection is ready to go, it seems that my horizons are limitless. I find that even though my bank balance doesn't seem limitless, I'm not worrying about it. It is a minor detail when it comes down to it. 
Why? Because it's Christmas. I had to stop and get myself out of the commercialization for a bit and when I did, I realized that most of the things I worry about are pretty small. 
After all, I know that I have God watching over me and every creature in this Universe and this is our date to celebrate His birth - actually, the birth of our knowledge that there is something magical about Life.


Look around. Take a moment. You'll see it everywhere you look, if you let yourself see.


Merry Christmas

Sorry - under construction

Hi folks - 


I will be continuing to post things to this site in the very near future. I appreciate your patience and hopefully you'll keep me on your list of places to visit.


Cheers - Dave

Long time...

So it's been a few weeks since my last post - but a busy few weeks. Kids off to school/new apartments/new grade in high school. 

Still stomping around to find more things to write about and things to experience. Really looking for more sunshine to appear. It's been a lot of years since we've had such a crappy Fall.

We won't even go into the summer...

I'm sure there will be another chance to enjoy the goofiness that is the human condition soon. I do have to run some errands downtown, so keep your appendages crossed and I'll let you know.

Soon. Really.

Teens and Cars

We need to talk about cars. Why? I now have two teenage drivers in the house and only two vehicles.

This is my chance to inflict on, umm, instruct my kids in the vagaries of owning (or not owning) a vehicle. My darling and I have been pretty lenient for a while, letting the kids use the vehicles  quite a bit since they passed the Class 5 driving exam. We’ve tried to impress upon them the costs associated with operating a car – you know, insurance, fuel, tires, repairs, etc. This is especially important for our family, because we only have two vehicles and four drivers, with another learner on the horizon. They look at me blankly and ask why I don’t just use credit cards. Ahh, to be innocent again.

For all three of you who read this blog, sorry for the absence. Just got back from a trip to the West Coast for a couple of weeks. 25 to 30 degree weather, blue sky, sailboats and people handing me drinks and feeding very, very well.


I've been home for three days and it just struck me that I will now have to get my own drinks and make my own meals again. I keep looking around for someone to do it for me, but all I see are my kids and dog looking back at me with the same expression.


Sigh.

Real Life Physics

Lately I find myself thinking about Physics and how it affects us all. The main reason I am delving deeply into the subject is because two of my three kids are now taking the course or have just completed it.

Now, I’ve always loved physics. There were always really cool experiments to do and generally it involved crashing different things together to see what happened. Almost as much fun as blowing things up in Chemistry class. Anyway, I am happy that I can help my kids really understand the fundamentals of the world around us.

Teenage Drivers

Teenage drivers are everywhere, particularly in my house. Now before anyone thinks I’m a grouchy, know-it-all old man, let me explain. First, I am not old. Secondly, I actually wanted my kids to get their licences as soon as possible. There, I said it. Believe me, driving these kids all over the country side to visit their friends or attend different functions throughout southern Alberta got old real quick. Being able to sit in my own comfortable living room chair a few nights a week has been wonderful.

Measly Microbes

Okay, it’s 4:30 in the morning and I have had just about enough. How is it that one measly microbe or virus batch can irritate us so much? Just enough, apparently.

I have had a cold for the last week; coughing, lost my voice for a while, slept as much as I could, etc. I loved the sleep bit, my wife and kids loved the loss of voice bit (although they won’t admit it to me directly) but I absolutely hate the coughing bit.